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December 20, 2005
Healing Opportunities for Local Parents
For those who have lost loved ones - and especially those who have lost a child - the holidays can bring as much sadness as joy. I'm especially mindful this week of the eight families in DC, 55 families in Maryland, and 72 families in Virginia who lost a baby to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) last year, and of the many more local children lost to accidental deaths.
I have two items to share with families who have lost a child and those who support them. If you know of someone who might bebenefit from this support, please pass along the info:
First, SIDS Mid-Atlantic has announced a special event, "Stories That Shape Understanding & Connect Us In Grief: Conversations About Differences Between Spouses, Family Members and Well-Meaning Friends After a Child's Death." This gathering will be held January 26, February 23, and March 9 from 7 to 9 p.m.
This series of sessions will give parents a chance to explore how the cultural messages and understandings (esp. gender differences) that have shaped them and their partners are either helping or hurting them in their journey through grief. In group conversations, participants will share their stories and reflect on the ways their meanings and beliefs connect them, and the ways in which we all struggle to understand and reconcile our differences. Participating in these sessions will give participating couples a way to build empathy for their partners and to strengthen the bond of commitments to each other.
The sessions will also give famlies a chance to share stories of their children, and to keep connections to them present, even while learning to live without their physical presence. Some of the topics that may be explored:
~ What are some of the messages we have heard about how to be a man? How to be a woman? Where do these messages come from? What supports them?
~ Societal pressure to "get over it" and "move on."
~ Feelings of minimization of loss by friends, family and and society in general.
~ What are "normal" grief feelings, if there are such things?
~ Are we truly parents?
~ How do we cope with future family and friends' gatherings?
~ How do we talk with our other children about this loss?
~ How will we get through the anniversary and holiday times?
~ How can we listen to each other with empathy and compassion?
The sessions will be facilitated by licensed psychotherapists who have also experienced the loss of infants, Jane Ashley Heavey, LPC, LMFT and Carol Miller, LCSW.
The second opportunity I want to let you know about, also sponsored by SIDS Mid-Atlantic, is their new Cribs for Kids Project.
In addition to the local figures we have on SIDS deaths, we also know that 23 Virginia babies died of accidental suffocation in their beds last year - many of whom did not have a safe place to sleep in the home. By comparison, only two babies died in Virginia in automobile accidents. Who would suspect that beds were a greater hazard to babies than automobiles? Child advocates have worked hard to ensure that all babies have safe car seats. Now we need to ensure that every baby has a safe place to sleep.
The Cribs for Kids Project provides safe cribs for babies, to help prevent needless infant deaths. A safe portable crib can be a lifesaver for a new baby. Each crib costs $50. If you would like to donate to the Cribs for Kids Project and buy a new crib for a baby this holiday season, you can send a check to SIDS Mid-Atlantic or go to their website, www.sidsma.org and donate using a MasterCard or Visa.
To mail a check, send to SIDS Mid-Atlantic, 2700 S. Quincy St., Suite 220, Arlington, VA 22206. For more info about this project, contact executive director Betty Connal at 703.933.9100.
Posted by Sarah at December 20, 2005 9:45 AM.
